Fatherhood

What comes to mind when you think of Fatherhood? It is a true gift, not to be taken for granted no less. It seems so simple yet it is non-existent in my son's life. It has always been more of a chore, a bother, a nuisance to the man I gave too many chances to. Too many high hopes that he could be this Father I had always longed for our son to have. A huge milestone arose but at the same time a bittersweet awakening set me free for this longing to exist. Kindergarten commenced. A new birth, a pioneer, a kick off, a new beginning, a revolution! One of the most momentous and significant moments in your child's life to begin. No telephone call. Void. Absent. Nonexistent. My one hope of his acknowledgment, vanished. All was diminished. I knew from that moment that it was my undertaking to be there for our son in all aspects of where his Dad chose not to. In a way I felt truly blessed but in my heart of hearts I was weak and angry. It was a beautiful warm, sunny day. Perfect to celebrate this hallmark moment and what more joyful to walk hand in hand to his bus stop. Taking in nature and feeling the breeze whistle through our hair. Playing timeless childhood games, being so careful as to not step on any cracks or you'll break your Mother's back. Jumping along to our destination. There we stood, a landmark, full of smiles and giggles. Both of us impatiently waiting the arrival of the big yellow bus. My heart filled with so much warmth to see the excitement in his big brown eyes. A moment in time to cherish forever. Down the street, we see the big yellow bus making its stops. The anticipation is almost unbearable. "Are you ready?" "Here it comes!" We walk hand in hand, I guide him along to begin this glorious day. His bus driver is lovely and greets us with a smile of joy. I feel the tears swell up in my eyes as he steps up into his big yellow bus. I bid him a good day and watch him find a seat next to a window where I can see him. He looks at me with so much pride and mouths "I love you Mom". I blow him a kiss and he blows one back, a signature of our love ever since he was a toddler. Blessed is me!