The world of blogging...a perfect invention for single parents like me to vent all of our trials and tribulations on the every day challenges we conquer, or try to at least. I know many of us feel so alone sometimes when it comes to parenting our children but I guarentee many of our daily lives are eerily similiar. I always try to laugh things off because laughter truly is the best medicine. But, there are days/nights when I just want to pull the covers over my head and sleep the madness away...calgon, where are you???
I have three children. A daughter, 11, and two sons, one soon to be 10 and 4 (will be turning 5 in Dec.) My two oldest have a different Father than my youngest. I am sitting here, relishing the thought of how I would love to bash on the "Father" of my two oldest, but much to my delight, I will save that for later...maybe, lol. Lets go down memory lane a bit. I grew up in a small Oregon coastal town. Commercial Fishing being one of the top occupations, hence, my ex is a commercial fisherman. We were young, fell in love, or so we thought at the ripe age of 19, well, he was 2 years younger (Does that make me a craddle robber???). It was the summer of '96, wow, that seems centuries ago to me. We knew each other through mutual friends. An evening at an infamous beach party, "sunset left", yes, a small coastal town known to have bonfire beach parties. Those were the days.
It was a harlequin summer romance. Six months into and boom, we get our first apt. It was a condo actually, right by a waterfront marina. Huge mistake. Soon after, all of our true colors came bursting out and never seemed to end. We brought out the worst in each other. It was one of those relationships where it was more of an obsession. Even though we hated each other, we just couldn't get enough. You follow? We went through many times of breaking up and getting back together. It was completely toxic. Years of verbal and physical abuse led me to say one day fuck it. I had just turned 21. A girlfriend of mine and I ventured to Victoria, British Columbia Canada. It was an adventure to say the least. Mind you, I was still very much with and living with my ex. And had no intentions of meeting anyone. But, everything happens for a reason I believe. This was my way out of a bad situation...or so I had hoped.
Victoria was an awesome experience. The city is beautiful, the people so down to earth and the night scene was unforgettable. My girlfriend and I met a group of guys from the Seattle area at this night club. We all hit it off and ended up spending the next day with them having lunch and drinks and hanging out on their luxury boat. One of them in particular I had clicked with. He learned of my situation back home with my ex and offered a way out. His friend managed a condo property in Bellevue and offered me a job as a leasing agent. So, without hesitation, I accepted. After my girlfriend and I arrived back home, soon after I left my then ex and moved to Bellevue, Wa. It was a whole new chapter, a fresh start to leave all the bad memories behind. Life was good. I caught on quick at my new job and was good at what I did. I made good money, lived on the property and the guy I had clicked with ended being a permanent thing. I had a new life. New friends. New atmosphere. I was close to my family too, who lived less than an hr. away.
But, in all honesty, deep down, I missed my dysfunctional relationship with my ex. I missed my hometown and my childhood friends. This new life of mine was perfect, almost too perfect. I was becoming weak and withdrawn. And I did the unthinkable. Yep, I made a phone call to my ex. We were doomed. Blinded by unrealistic love or what people would refer to as lust...
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